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--Sinclair Lewis
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When I saw this picture and quote on Face Book, I immediately shared it. (Source: Robert Schaefer's photo album)
My buddy Max Carlos Martinez, commented, "Can I buy that outfit at Target?"
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That started me thinking: What if there were a Sarah Palin Collection at Target? I'm guessing it might look something like this:
. A red, white and blue palette for everything from bargain parkas to too-expensive suits (you need a credit card from the GOP for the suits)
. Rectangular eyelass frames (problem: the only size they come in is "myopic")
. A line of crosses, including: christian cross, crossbow, double cross, and Levi-I'm-not-happy-about-you-at-all-no-sir.
For the home: bearskin rugs with gen-u-wine-Palin bullet holes, a double-wide freezer especially for those big ol' moose steaks, and a special wine from the Palin Estates, Chateau de Mobile Homme.
For the desk, or what Palin might refer to as "that write-y thing"--there's a Palin to English dictionary.
There will be a complete line of snow mobiles. The Todd Palin model, heads straight out of the picture. The Bristol model, heads straight for trouble. A special feature of the Sarah Palin Sno-Machine ® is that it turns only to the right, leading entire parties in circles. Look for the coupon for 50% off on Dramamine.
From the Palin gift department: a selection of fine 90% polyester t-shirts with such slogans as, My Other Car is a Motorcade, Nothing Comes Between My Daughter and Her Levis, Palin in 2012, and I Luv My Christian Grandma. A special like of halloween candy is named after the Palin children: Twig, Branch, Bark, Track, Trick and Treat.
Finally, there's the Palin telescope which --wait for it--lets you see Russia from your house.
Addendum: Oh, how could I have forgotten the cosmetic line?
. The Kiss-Ass lipsticks: Republican Red, Fascist Fuchsia, and Anti-Pinko Pink
. The You Betcha mascara: with a special wink-without-clumping formula
. The Paleo foundation makeup: It's white and tends to crack under pressure
. The perfume, Eau de Petrol: It's a bit strong. In fact you might say it reeks of oil.
All you "designers" out there: What would you add to the Sarah Palin Collection?
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