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10.01.2010

Am I a Hypocrite, a Dumb Ass or an A-Hole?

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OK, time to play the first installment of that political game called, Am I a Hypocrite, a Dumb Ass or an A-Hole?
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Christine O'Donnell: I am a Christian but I have "dabbled" in witchcraft. I want to serve in the United States Senate, yet I say things like, "If we're descended from apes, how come they haven't yet evolved into humans?"
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Am I a Hypocrite, a Dumb Ass or an A-Hole?
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Note to Dumb Ass: Wicca is an earth-based spirituality that reveres nature, including our evolutionary history. However, there is at least one mama grizzly that has evolved into a human. She wears lipstick and talks to tea bags. You wanna refudiate that?
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Update 10.2.10: No wonder she doesn't want to believe in evolution. She's descended from Bozo the Clown! True story. (Here's how my buddy Chris Rywalt sums it it: "One is a comic performer enacting hilarious and stupid tricks for an uneducated audience, and the other one is Bozo the Clown.")
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Reverend Eddie Long: I lead a megachurch in Atlanta, where I frequently rail that homosexuality is "immoral." Yet here I am photographing myself with my i-Phone while wearing my gym clothes so that I can email the pics to young boys..
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Am I a Hypocrite, a Dumb Ass or an A-Hole?
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Note to Hypocrite: Homosexuality is part of the great spectrum of nature. What's "immoral" is telling your congregation one thing and doing another, especially when it (allegedly) involves foisting yourself onto unwilling underage male partners. By the way, the necklace doesn't go with the spandex.
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Senate Minority Leader John Boehner: I am a Republican, which by current action virtually ensures that most people of color will receive a less-than-fair break financially and societally. Yet I myself am a person of color. Orange.
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Am I a Hypocrite, a Dumb Ass or an A-Hole?
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Note to A-Hole: There's an "Orange and Proud" group you may wish to join. They're called pumpkins.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAAHAAHAA-HEEHEE :) I swear, Joanne, you are too funny!

Chris Rywalt said...

Person of color: Orange. Very funny.

I feel bad for whoever had to color balance that photo. Trying to get the red white and blue flag right while making him human-colored -- it must've been too much, finally.

ml said...

I was actually surprised the Saxby Chambliss (Sen/GA) fired his staffer who was posting the anti gay messages. I guess even among the hypocrites, a holes and douchebags, some things are still beyond the acceptable range.

Hylla Evans said...

Florescent is not a color.
I do love you, Joanne.

A V said...

...take a look at this from some 'outside' - most ideological battles look ridiculous that way. Might even get you laughing if you have a little Kafka training or equivalent. However, I have only recently realized that this 'sensibility', is not a trait of the species, but sorts itself out as sanity lender of last resort under fairly extreme conditions straining imagination.

Much as I see it, the kind of humor capable of releasing self-deprecation into the culture spinning public sphere, starves of pretexts given half a chance. Sans, nonsense takes itself dead serious - which is what I am reading in the bit of your blog I am replying to.

Not that the historic re-enactment of Rinascimento's lashings at curio science isn't amusing. Just glad I missed the dark [obscured?] ages...

Joanne Mattera said...

Hylla,
But fluorescent orange IS a color. Just not found in nature.

Chris,
The truth: I juiced up the orange in Photoshop. No one is that saturated--though he is pretty full of it.

Ana,
Two words: Black humor.
This is a dreadful time in American politics.