Fair Play: Best. Gallery. Name. Ever.

The posts so far:
Art? Or Not Art?
Lean Times
Black is the New Black. Again
Art Miami
A Bloggers' Guide to Art Miami
I'm planning a round-up next week to finish out my Miami coverage, but this gallery sign (at NADA, the post coming next) deserves its own post, if only to allow us to imagine the confusion its name might cause over the phone:

“Hello, 'Sorry We’re Closed.'”
“Oh, too bad, I was hoping you were still open.”

“We are open.”
“I thought you said you were closed?”

"We're 'Sorry We're Closed' but we are not closed."
"So why are you telling me you're closed? I wanted to come to the gallery."

“Then come. We’re ‘Sorry We’re Closed.’ We're open.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand if you’re open or closed.”
“What part of, ‘We’re Sorry We’re Closed.' We're open.' don’t you understand?"
“All of it. Let me try it this way: Are. You. Closed?”

“No, we’re open.”
“Then why are you apologizing for being closed?”

“We’re not apologizing for being closed, we’re 'Sorry We’re Closed.'”
“OK, now you’re pissing me off.”

"We’re sorry we’re pissing you off, but we're Sorry We’re Closed and we are indeed open. However, we will be closing shortly.”
 “Go to hell.”

“Madam, there’s no need to be rude.”
“I'm sorry I called."

Big thanks to everyone who sent me to Miami. I am most appreciative of your help. To all my other friends reading this: If you are enjoying my coverage of the Miami art fairs, or the blog at any other time of year, please consider making a one-time annual donation of $20 (though any amount is welcome) to help support my effort. See the Donate button on the sidebar. Thank you.


Nancy Natale said...

Who's on first? Joanne, you are a funny one! Thanks for the larff!

Darel said...

nice one. :)

Nancy Natale said...

I liked it better with "fuck off." But that's just me.

Joanne Mattera said...

Me, too, Nancy. But when I edited it today--added an extra exchange; did you notice?--I thought about the fact I'm referencing a real gallery, even if the entire conversation is totally made up. Hence the Fuck off to Go to hell.

Anonymous said...

Sorry We're Closed is a fantastic project! I came across it while wondering the streets of Brussels. I was flat-out floored by the experience. It was a warm summer night and just down the street ahead of me was a very brightly lit glass window. As it turns out, the glass window is really a vitrine. The gallery is just a 12 by 12 by 12 foot white cube. No doors and only florescent light strips in a square about 2 feet from the walls. With just a single piece (as when I saw it) or sometimes an installation, the place radiates beauty. It is not a normal gallery project. Great stuff! Check it out online.
Best, Ted Larsen

Joanne Mattera said...

Thanks for your report, Ted.
So they really *are* closed! I love that.

Gallery: "Hello, Sorry We're Closed."

Caller: When will you be open?

Gallery: "We're never open. That's why we're Sorry We're Closed. But you can come by and look."

Caller: "I thought you said you were closed."

Gallery: "We are closed. That's why we're Sorry We're Closed. Didn't you hear what I said? But you can look into the vitrine."

Caller: "So you're closed but the lights are on?"

Gallery: "Well it took you a while to catch on, didn't it?"